post 190

By anders pearson 10 Nov 2000

it’s time to announce the winners of the “Organism that most effectively demonstrates that if God does exist, he’s a Complete Bastard” Award.

the clear winner in the International category is the Candiru, a tiny catfish relative that lives in the Amazon and has the unfortunate habit of lodging itself in peoples’ urethras where it chews away and feeds on the blood while its backwards facing spines prevent it from being removed without causing even more damage.

in the US category, we have the Brown Recluse, a mild mannered spider that is small, plain looking and relatively common in the southern and central parts of the US. when provoked it bites. the bite is relatively painless but contains a rather nasty cytotoxic and hemolytic venom that dissolves the cell membranes of any tissue that it comes in contact with. the result is that up to several hours later a “volcano lesion” of damaged, gangrenous tissue slowly begins spread out from the bite. after a day or two more severe symptoms may develop as the lesion spreads even further including: morbilliform rash, fever, chills, nausea, vomiting, joint pain, systemic hemolysis, coagulopathy, renal failure, seizures, coma, and, rarely, death. the part that really makes the brown recluse qualify for the award is that the bite is nearly painless and so serves little defensive purpose for the spider; it’s just pure spite.