capital shubbery

By jp 21 Jan 2001

NPR has had this running habit of waking me up with our new president, “Dubyah” Bush in the mornings. it’s thrown a seriously depressing shadow over an already depressing weekend of drizzle and exam cramming. but it’s lead to a few thoughts.

so now our proud (?) nation unites behind the man with the mouth where english goes to die. I don’t know which is worse — imagining the copious amounts of strenuous backtracking he’s going to take as far as social programs and civil freedoms are concerned, or KNOWING that it’s been headed by someone with the same literacy as what I pulled out of my navel pre-shower this morning. seeing the shining prodigal son of the old boy network ™ finally back at the helm is downright silly. soon we’ll all live the american dream of a prayer in every classroom, a gun in every hand, an oil rig in every backyard, and a war so cold it’ll make even new hampsire look warm (or maine, for those of you with a different point of reference).

seriously, I’ll take any and all bets anyone wants to place — we’re going to war with Iraq sometime in the next six months. count on it. and while it’s nice that our nepitism-endorsing dance-shy leader with a ferocius coke twitch is probably going to be all for national security and miliary revival rather than globalization and disarmament, c’mon now… is this REALLY a game we want to be playing with China? I didn’t think so. I think we ought to be sure we’re on their christmas list.

I think what bugs me the most is (anders, you’ll be able to relate) that all in all, he’s nothing but a worthless private school shit. his dad bought him a yale education where he did naught but establish a firm reputation as the campus washout, came home to start a few businesses with borrowed money which ALL tanked, and only got on his feet when dad gave him a job. and now he’s leader of the free world or something. sound familiar? Bates? Columbia? Dartmouth? the unworthy shall inherit? I think the meek are still in line.

so now we have our proud muppet in the public orifice, bless his soul by whatever god he talks about so much. and may his strings be pulled by only the kindest of the many that control our fearless peon.

but, amidst all this horror, at least we know that we’re going to see some of the best sketch comedy we’ve seen in decades during the next four years. talk about a uranium mine of material. hell, even saturday night live might get funny again.